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Friday, January 17, 2014

Ten Widow Tips, A Place to Write and A Gift of Love

Expect to find yourself standing in front of an open refrigerator
at 3:00 in the morning studying the
expiration date on a bottle of ketchup. --Linda Della Donna

As a writer, I spend ninety percent of my day writing. If I'm not scribbling a practice write in a notebook, tapping an article for possible submission to a publication on my keyboard, this writer is working a paragraph in her head for a future blog post.

It's what keeps me awake nights and accounts for my blank stares when sitting alone in a coffee shop.

And I love it.  

Today I share my free ezine article written especially for widows:

What Every Widow Should Know

by Linda Della Donna c2005

Your world's turned upside down. You walk, but your feet don't touch the ground.You're not crazy. You're husband's dead.

Expect the unexpected.

Ten Things Every Widow Needs to Know:

1. Expect people to say stupid things.

2. Expect to be asked out--by your best friend's husband.

3. Expect to be asked, "Do you masturbate?" by your best friend.

4. Expect to break down in tears when you least expect it--at the sound of the doorbell, at the sound of the telephone, at the sight of a baby carriage with a baby in it, pushed by its mother and father.

5. Expect to begin each day wondering how you made it through the day before. And end it thinking you just can't do it anymore.

6. Expect to feel weak, strong, suicidal, angry, happy, glad, sad, guilty, alone, lonely, trapped, free, tired, bored, overworked, overwhelmed, silly, puzzled.

7. Expect not to feel anything at all.

8. Expect all your friends to run away.

9. Expect all your friends to come back...
and new ones you didn't even know you had.

10. Expect to find yourself standing in front of an open refrigerator at 3:00 in the morning studying the expiration date on a bottle of ketchup.

11. Expect to laugh at the dog peeing on the living room rug, when the garage door falls off its hinges, when the refrigerator makes a puddle on the kitchen floor, and at the woman next door going out on a date--with the woman down the street.

12. Expect to wish it were you.

13. Expect to blame yourself for His death.

14. Expect to ask yourself, what if?, why me?, and a few other questions with no answers, over and over again.

15. Expect to make plans to run away.

16. Expect to cancel them, because you realize there is no place to run away to.

17. Expect to kiss a fool.

18. Expect to feel like a cheat.

19. Expect to wish for a giant eraser to erase away all the pain.

20. Expect the pain to never end.

21. Expect to smile when you feel like crying.

22. Expect to not sleep.

23. Expect to not focus.

24. Expect to not eat.

25. Expect to eat too much.

26. Expect to not be in the mood for all the things  you once were in the mood for.

27. Expect the sun to come out tomorrow, daffodils to sprout in spring, birds to sing, leaves to fall from the oak, the elm, the flowering plum, moon to glow, earth to spin on its axis, and wonder why.

So I listed 27 things, not 10. Like I said, you're a widow now. Expect the unexpected.

Linda Della Donna is author of A Gift of Love.

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