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Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Day 41


I've discovered when sitting down to write about Ed, I must return to a very unpleasant time of my life. Even when I schedule one hour to write, I discover most, if not all that time is spent ritualizing.

It's a painful process and just as soon as I get into the moment, it's time to go prepare dinner, or the doorbell rings, or telephone. Yesterday, it was to help a family member. Today I sat and worked on my outline. I have never been able to do an outline. In school, when the teacher said, write an outline, no matter what I put down on the paper, it was wrong and I received a failing grade. I just never could work with that Roman number and all the big A's and little a's that followed. Anyway, what I have discovered, after an exhausting 40 days, that to do this outline, I just needed to simply start writing my story. Getting words on paper helped me to figure out what it was I needed to do in the first place. Does that make sense?

I have discovered that with an outline I am able to create a jumping off point and a landing point and the ability to begin again somewhere else.

Already I have a prologue, introduction, Chapter 1 and Chapter 2. I'm not sure if it's because I am writing about my dead husband or that this is my first book ever, but it sure does make it clearer for me to understand. That and a glass of Pinot Grigio--just kidding--hic.

If you don't see me hanging around here the next couple days, it's because I got some serious writing to do. I've learned that if I organize my book into folders, i.e., manilla file folders with separate tabs for each chapter, I am able to peruse all my journals, notes, scribbles on gum wrappers, into different piles, relocating them into the subject chapter file folders, the names of which come from my outline, the one I just created 'bout an hour ago. It helps me fix in my brain what it is I have to cover in the chapter I'm about to begin and the one I am working on right now. It also keeps me organized--organizes my thoughts--which settles me and keeps me from going off the deep end.

Don't know if this makes sense, but it seems to be working for me.

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