Friday, November 6, 2009
Day 36 - Book Or Bust!
I am in a funk.
Digging into my past is making me nutz. I keep telling myself this feeling is a temporary one, but, like a newly-picked scab, it bleeds--into everything--most especially, my personal new life. And I am at a loss at how to handle it. Add to that, I have a cold and am on medication. Yuck.
I awakened this a.m. eager to begin typing and revising chapter 2. I planned to spend 3 entire hours on it and to complete it. Instead, I spent the day fretting about how unhappy I am, imagining all kinds of things about the people I love and whose love and respect I cherish. I'm not certain, but it's my guess all this channeling Ed has brought up sinking thoughts I owned after his death. Something I labored hard to get through in order to cycle through the grief process. Grief is a tunnel...you can't go over it, can't get around it, you just must go through it. Working on this book, fulfilling my promise, is causing me to make my grief journey one more time.
No wonder writing this book has taken so long.