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Friday, July 31, 2015

Ha! Ha! Ha!, A Memo to Me




In October 1998 I was an admin assistant working a day job at the New York Power Authority.

Pressures of juggling a full time job, dealing with an impatient boss, family responsibilities complete with fielding phone calls from a rebellious teen son demanding to borrow my car, "Why not? It's just sitting in the parking lot!" and an intermittent intercom phone buzzer reminding me someone was waiting for the document I was typing had put a frown on my face.

In an effort to soothe my nerves and cheer me up, a coworker sent me a joke in the form of a memorandum via email. 

In 1998, email and the internet was new technology. A computer was a toy.

I will never forget opening that email, reading that joke memo, and laughing out loud like a boss! 

Today not much has changed. I am still stressed, only over some other different things, but in an effort to clean up, clear up and organize the clutter in search of important papers, I have rediscovered that joke file and the happy memory has returned turning my upside down smile right side up again. 

Anyway, as it was shared with me in 1998, I'm sharing it here in the hope it will tickle your funny bone, too.

Have a great day! See you in print.

Now go write something. I dare you.



Linda Della Donna
"Come journal with me, your book is yet to be!"



Heaven was full. 

God had set new rules that only those people who had died in the most terrible way would get into heaven. 

Three men came up to St. Peter. 

Peter asked the First Man, "How did you die?"

The First Man replied, "Well, it started at work. I heard from a business partner that my wife was having an affair with a friend of mine. So, I went home and went upstairs and found my wife in bed, but I couldn't find her lover."

"I searched the apartment and still I couldn't find him, until I reached the balcony. There he was, my wife's lover! He was hanging off the balcony."

I was so furious I decided to kill the guy. I went downstairs and into into the garage, got a hammer, went back upstairs and I began smashing this guy's fingers--breaking them one by one."

"After I did the first five fingers, the guy fell off the balcony. But, guess what? He landed on a bush and he was still alive!"

"I went back downstairs and into the kitchen where I started pushing the refrigerator out into the living room. I pushed it onto the balcony and finally, I threw it off. The refrigerator landed on the lover.  He died."

"Only problem is I died throwing the refrigerator off the balcony. In the struggle, I had a massive heart attack. That's how I died!"

St Peter said, "Okay, you can go in."

St Peter asked the Second Guy, "How did you die?" 

The Second Guy replied, "Well, this is kinda unbelievable. But really, I was on this roof doing my regular yoga and the wind blew me off. I fell down. But luckily, I managed to grab onto the balcony on the second floor."

"So I was hanging there, but then all of a sudden out of nowhere this lunatic shows up with this mad look on his face. He goes away, then he comes back...With a hammer!!"

"He starts breaking my fingers. I fell and landed on some bushes. But I was still alive... "

"But noooooo, then this freaking loonie has to bring his refrigerator out and throws it off at me. It landed on top of me. That's how I died."

St Peter said, "Awwww, that's awful. In you go!"

St Peter asked the Third and last Guy, "How did you die?"

The Third Guy replied, "Well, picture this. I'm butt naked and inside a refrigerator."